having one of those days...

Do you ever have those days when you wake up in the morning not feeling so great but dismiss it and get on? Yeah me too. Why are Wednesday's always so bleurgh

'If you can go without ever experiencing pain you probably haven't lived yet.' - Neil Simon

But the trouble is, the more I dismiss it, the more it haunts me. I suffer from anxiety, and sometimes it can become overwhelming on certain days, and I have to give in to it. You see, the more you try to dismiss anxiety or any mental illness, the more it will eat away at you, like a maggot inside your head just feeding on all your negative thoughts. The more you ignore this maggot, the bigger he gets. I've learnt over the years, and all my therapy sessions that giving in and accepting the thoughts is not a bad thing, but a good thing. 

If the day doesn't start well, I begin to ruminate about my life and where I'm headed, which is dangerous because I can then spiral into a mess of worry and would you believe it, severe anxiety. Sometimes it's very difficult to be motivated, and some days it just doesn't happen, on days like these I don't battle it out with my anxiety, I simply draw the white flag and take a break from work. Why? Because taking a step back is a way to calm down, think things through carefully and step back from the situation. Even the toughest people have bad days, it's being able to cope with them that makes us strong and who we are, and we are all strong! Even my anxiety is awful on some days, but its ok, because I know today won't last forever and tomorrow, will be better. This is not a sad post, merely a post I have written about my day which makes me feel better! Always remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

'I cry a lot. My emotions are very close to my surface. I don't want to hold anything in so it festers and turns into pus- a pustule of emotion that explodes into a festering cesspool of depression.' - Nicolas Cage. Couldn't have said it better myself, Nic. Spot on! 

with love



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Jadia 11

I have bipolar 2 and emotionally unstable BPD. I know i’m difficult sometimes but the more people try and understand by reading blog posts like this one then the less people will be stigmatised for having illnesses that are blind to others yet there so strong it affects every single part of your life from the moment you awake, on the mornings where you have managed to have some sleep the night before, a victory in itself, to feeling like you can or can’t dress, eat, then, whether you can leave the house or feel safer at home. Not like, say, a broken leg that is obvious to see and hinders walking for a short period of time till it heals. Not very often you see people offering to help someone with a mental health illness like they would someone with a broken leg is it.